It is while my body is being pummeled and pounded that Cleopatra pops into my mind’s inbox. Not Elizabeth Taylor but the original pin-up queen who lived millenia ago. Queen Cleo used to bathe in wine, as did her virile lover Marc Anthony, who probably underwent what I am experiencing right now – getting chilled, crushed grapes to cover my body with gentle determination.

Call it Pulp Friction, with due apologies to Quentin Tarantino. After the grapes are rubbed in, I am covered in a plastic wrap. Now I know what frozen fruits feel like. Amazingly, after a shower, my skin feels definitely smoother. Even a week after this vinotheraphy my body felt like a baby’s.